The Phantom Wedding

she reckons theres 

always another match 

however committed you are 

it migh be someone else that makes you come .... 

251013 


is she says she is with someone 

then she is not 

so there is no point really 

she says she is with someone the material 

is regarded as turkey for 

someone else 



***************




one problem being that the groom 

had spent the night 

on the internet with her 

bit disappointing for a Stylite 



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i mean i gave the bridesmaids away 

doesnt mean i have to pay 

them alimony 




n I'm sorry to say 

that i had to get my toy gun 

out of the cupboard ... 

n they are very worried 

it might cause someone to miscarry 



11am

n they attacked me 

so much i couldn't get out the door 

n all heaving and pushing 

as one 





*****************


there is a bunch of fishwives outside 

we've come to drag him off 

n were authorised by the government 

Lager has custardy of him 




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there was a late party 

n the next day she woke to find 

his ex wife had broken into her bedroom 

and stolen films sex toys and 

other paraphernalia 

she then jumped out of a cupboard 

and punched me 

i gave the bridesmaid away 

that doesnt mean she gets to live 

in my bedroom ... 

there is barbed wire around 

the house ... 






0051 241013 


she has given away 

the best man , the bridesmaids 

n possibly the groom ... 





****************





her meat face is chicken someone might 

think she's moved on … 


the engagement party took place 

in a disused psychiatric hospital 

most of the patients are actors 

wearing dressing gowns 

a pajama party 


what does a frog suspended over a bath 

have to do with a broom stick 

you can use it as a paddle 


the groom is a young hunk 

with pneumonia 

who loves Ireland 

the bride an incontinent cripple 


someone had brought the author along 

sporting a panther outfit 

n there were alot of people smoking 


they were confettied 

with bugs and objections 

gifts included a red and orange heart 

and a pair of tights with one leg 


her husband gave her a live frog 

to play with which was 

vey exciting 

n they were interrupted 

on their honeymoon night … 









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